I feel like I’ve been told by so many that we all have to learn to live in the now. And I couldn’t disagree. Getting a taste of it and feeling confident that it was just that was like finding a four-leafed Clover to start. It’s how you feel on holiday. That feeling of being in the flow, when something you’d like drifts through your mind and magically seems to appear it’s fantastic. When ‘the flow’ seems to have drained out with the bath water… not so fun!
I have learnt to have trust and this has grown. I began to see the wonder and many gifts that I receive every day, starting with that privilege of life. I am always filled with gratitude and if in a moment, I am struggling with something difficult, remembering to be grateful, reminds me that I have so much to be grateful for. Living in the now for me is being open to what life offers rather than trying to force things one way or another. To make my wish, put in the necessary work when it is required and to let it go.
And people do offer their support, tell you how brave you are and how they wish they too were as brave. This is all lovely until our worlds clash, it can be hard to mix living in the now with those that need you to make plans. And those that worry about your money situation and think that they are worrying because you don’t worry enough whilst living this carefree life. Oh the pressure to learn to jump back into the past and future for the sake of conversation with others but to be the very ‘living in the now’ being that they also suggested they admire.
How do you explain that by not obsessing about something, the thing is more likely to come due to less resistance? How do you keep quiet without appearing as though you are being rude to save your own sanity in trusting in the universe when others need you, just in that moment, to listen to their mind having worked so hard not to listen to your own? And it feels hard sometimes because you want to be able to say that your struggling a little in this duality without being told to jump back into building your future lane and to get a real job (instead of the business I have been supporting myself with for years).
I am more in the now than I have ever been but I’m not saying that sometimes there is a little mind game going on in the background. Mind would love me to get involved and sometimes for a split second, I do. I just know now that it is better being in the flow without expectations than when an expectation or desire pops up and we cause ourselves trouble in trying to meet it when it is not ready yet, it is on it’s way or better yet, better is on it’s way!
I think that like seeking enlightenment and we become more enlightened each day, being in the now is an ongoing thang haha! When we are in the now, something will always be revealed that can pull us out and this is OK. We learn more about ourselves, we can heal those parts that are still sensitive, let go of the triggers we didn’t know were there, hiding inside. We are being called to show up for ourselves every day so we can say, I am warrior now in so many ways! 😉