For years I have struggled with hair loss, my friends and loved ones bared witness to It all. The times I went full energy into finding and trying natural treatments to grow it back. The exhaustion that followed. The ways in which I’ve styled it to disguise the patches. The epic hat collection. The search for a reason, internally and externally. The upset. The humour. The longing for what was. My mum told me the other day before I left for India. “I’m so proud of you and the way you’ve coped with your hair loss, I don’t think I would have been able to like you”. A lump arose in my throat. I’ve always got on with things but in that moment, I realised the sadness I had been carrying and the enormity of this ‘battle’ that started in my early 20s.
I decided that alongside learning yoga to recover from a back injury, if I found something to support my hair growth, I would give it a go. Shortly after my arrival, I considered cutting it off completely. I met an Ayurvedic doctor who agreed. He said it is a sign of weak bones (which explains other things) and that this must be resolved first and foremost.
I have changed my life. I have left the 9-5 and set up a massage and holistic treatment centre. I have let go and let go and let go. I am sure this will continue. Yesterday, I let go of my hair, my attachment to it and to the story that I am sharing now. After 15years, I borrowed some clippers and took it all off but for a few curls at the back that I like to twiddle ☺️. IT IS DONE!!! What happens from here, who knows. The doc is confident, I feel lighter. Tears flow with no explanation of what they are for but I am trusting that I do not need to search for their meaning. I am healing. I am focusing on what I have now, my gifts. Last night I sang at a restaurant on the beach. I am filled with joy. I thank all who have supported me with hugs, kind words and acceptance. I am happy, I am peaceful. Om shanti shanti shanti! 🌸🙏🏽💚 xx